I smell the imminence of my death. ‘’Finally!’
Today, we graduate from arwate girls to saale women ready for marriage. My fellow initiates beam, all of them looking forward to being 5th wives. But for me, death by the Miilika, to see Mama again, is utopia, as compared to a forcible wedlock. The promise of seeing her beautiful smile and hearing her warm laughs have kept me going for sixteen years.
The scorching sun burns my scalp as it penetrates my bald head. Sweat drips down my forehead, and I dry it with the back of my hand. Not even the strong breeze from the lake by which we stand can cool it. I grin, displaying my few teeth. I cannot contain my joy. My fellow initiates giggle and whisper amongst themselves, casting me condescending glances. This is nothing new. My eccentric appearance has drawn insults and mockery for as long as I can remember.
My breath grows shallow. I reach for my Surutei, a coiled brass wire armlet inherited from my dead mother and my usual source of equanimity. Soon, their ridicule will fade into insignificance. It is only a matter of minutes before I am cradled in the embrace of god Tian, reunited with Mama. Many have whispered that she drowned herself in the lake after a hippo took my father before I was born, but mothers do not leave their children to suffer and be a source of ridicule. Certainly not my mother.
Mirigichan stands hunched. The old woman is clothed in a hippopotamus hide tunic with an ostrich eggshell beaded necklace fastened around her neck. Her wrinkled skin and grey hair ooze tales of a time when circumcision was the initiation for girls. Now, she takes pride in this less oppressive rite of passage. Or so she thinks.
‘’Girls of the El Molo community, Waaka Parite!’’ Mirigichan greets.
All four of us bow in acknowledgement. The palm fibres wrapped around our waists and chests shimmy in the process. My stomach churns. Everybody is about to find out that I am not a bikira. The council will kill me, but not Leojore, with whom I lost my virginity. He has been crowned Tian’s heir already. Spite fills my mouth, and I want to spit. I swallow. It is not worth it. Only a few minutes before my mortal body is deemed irrelevant anyway.
The men are not allowed on the premises, but their presence is felt. I inhale deeply as my eyes sweep across the landscape. I have known nothing else besides these dome-shaped huts clustered together like ancient boulders. Sixteen years of memories flood my mind, vivid and unyielding. The Loiyangalani Bay is the home of the El Molo people—my people—marginalised yet resilient. I think of Esi, my grandfather, my only living kin, and Lolchuragi, my closest friend. I am about to leave him to the mocking wolves of Marsabit South. I blink repeatedly to fight back tears.
Lolchuragi never cared that my hair grew in sparse strands or that I often woke up with missing teeth. I, too, accepted his past—abandoned as a child and found by the lake by Mzee Lemusuka; who nurtured and loved him as his own. Together, we’ve faced the scorn of those who don’t understand us. A lump forms in my throat. He will be okay. I will be okay.
“ Because of our purity and love, the Mighty god Tian entrusted the Karkar, stone to us centuries ago.’’
Mirichigan’s words thrust me back to reality.
“Until one day, the unimaginable happened.” She pauses, and the girls hold their breath, as if they’re experiencing this well-worn tale anew.
“An El Molo woman brought a Turkana man into our village, ushering in bloodline curses. Together, they gave rise to a cursed lineage known as the Illimanyang.”
My heart sinks. Tales of the Illimanyang’s merciless hunt for anyone who dared to silence them or challenge their power have always sent shivers down my spine.
“They stole the Karkar, and the wrath of God Tian descended upon us. He unleashed a curse of imprisonment upon the El Molo people for our failure to protect the stone. That’s why no one can enter or leave Loiyangalani Bay.” Her voice drops, misery engulfs her face. She and everyone here has spent their entire life trapped in this Bay. That will not be my story.
“Because the female brought this curse upon the land, it is the female that shall take it out” She says.
I roll my eyes so hard I think I see my brain. It is distasteful what the women before me have gone through. Female circumcision was the villagers’ way of offering our purity and innocence back to Tian in order to lift the curse until the Miilika emerged centuries ago, sweeping through the skies and airlifting non-virgins to their doom. None of it has made a difference; we remain ensnared in this Bay, bound by the very fate we tried to escape.
‘’Tian, the god star of the El Molo people, we present the arwate to you. May you preserve the bikira, and may the punishment be upon the one who has defiled her body. And in return, may the curse be lifted from our land.’’ Mirigichan chants.
‘’Sepian, Aak!’’ She beckons.
My name sounds strange coming from her mouth. I begin my walk forward, sensing the judgment of the big silver spherical orb ahead.
Mirigichan raises her palm. I halt! Soon, I will be rejoicing on my way to paradise. She wears a big smile, confident of my purity. I have led masses several times. My righteousness is unquestionable.
‘’Look into the lens, my child,’’ Mirigichan says.
I rest my jaw on the chinrest, staring right through the orb’s lens. My eyes sting as the streak of blue light flashes. The air is pregnant with anticipation.
‘’Non- bikira! Non-Virgin.’ The orb repeats. The girls gasp in shock. I smile; I am impervious to their judgments now. I will be long gone before the news spreads.
Suddenly, the sun slips away, giving way to an encroaching gloom. A fierce gale stirs up a dust devil, sending water droplets from the lake spiralling rapidly into the air. It is a duel between the wind and us as we struggle to keep our feet on the ground. A whistling sound forces me to look up. A troupe of blue humanoid translucent creatures are charging towards me. The Miilika are here! Amidst the chaos, I catch a glimpse of the two globes that serve as their eyes, with a small hole nestled between them that resembles a nose. Neatly formed folds are scattered around their faces, giving them a peculiar look. I smirk at the oddity.
I suspend my arms, ready to be airlifted to my death. Seeing Mama again and finally leaving this village, where I’ve never truly belonged, begins to feel more like a tangible reality than a distant fantasy.
Suddenly, the Miilika pause mid-air, startled and unable to move.
‘’Wh…wh… Why are you stopping? Take me!’’ I shout.
They remain suspended on the spot!
My surutei begins to glow, burning my skin. I drop to my knees. My skin starts to wrinkle, and the pores on my hands slowly shut. Strong heat pricks my scalp, and a sharp pain strikes my mouth as though Daktari Lenapir is pulling out my teeth without anaesthesia. I feel my gums. The few teeth that I have have retracted back to their sockets except for my two central incisors. A sharp shriek escapes my lips.
Grief tightens around my heart as I watch the Miilika dissolve into the clouds, carrying my dreams away with them.
‘’No, please. Come back!’’ I whisper with the little breath I can garner.
My legs weaken, suddenly giving way beneath me. I collapse to the ground with a heavy thud, and an acute pain engulfs my body. The world around me begins to blur and fade, the edges growing dimmer with each passing moment. I struggle to keep my eyes open but fail, surrendering to the darkness. I see a man clothed in a palm-leaf apron. Beside him is a woman with leaves fastened around her waist and coconut shells on her chest. Their bald heads are smoother than a baby’s buttocks, and their skin is as pale and dry as coal. They smile, displaying a pair of elongated teeth at the front of their mouth. A soothing warmth and profound sense of safety wraps around me like a protective embrace. I am standing in front of the dreaded Illimanyang! Alternating glitching images of a vault and a woman resembling my mama appear.
“Mama?’’I whisper.
“Sepian! Sepian!’’ Lolchuragi calls. He grabs my arm. He’s here with me, in this bewildering place. A scream for help catches in my throat, my lips refusing to cooperate. Suddenly, he releases my hand, and in an instant, he vanishes, along with my mama.
“Sepian! Sepian!’’ I flutter my eyelids as I awaken, seeing Lolchuragi kneeling before me, shaking me with urgency. A dark shadow looms over half the sky, casting an ominous pall over everything.
“Illimanyang! She is an Illimanyang!’’ somebody screams. My eyes shut, drifting into nothingness.
#
I open my eyes. It is gloomy and dark, except for a streak of light penetrating the ajar door. The smell of mud and cow dung used to thatch the huts infiltrates my nostrils—a harsh reminder that I am still in Loiyangalani Bay, not Mama’s bosom.
I saw her—so close I could almost reach out and touch her, yet I couldn’t. It was just a bad dream. The village elders often say that reality can haunt our dreams, just not the other way around.
“The pursuit of one’s own and neglect for others is selfishness.’’ A raspy and familiar voice breaks the silence.
I turn my head. My grandfather Esi stands against the light, hunched forward and leaning on his walking stick. He holds up a lamp and the hut dazzles with bright yellow lights. I squint at the brightness. My hammock bed and hide tapestry collections are gone from the walls in my hut. The room is empty, except for the gʊlmayɔ mat on which I lay. All my possessions have been taken, a harsh custom reserved for the sinners or criminals of Loiyangalani.
‘’Sit up!’’ Grandfather orders.
I try to move, but my body aches. The pores on my skin are now visible, and my few teeth are back in place. My heart leaps, but my joy is ephemeral.
“What am I, Esi?’’ I ask.
He remains quiet as if his lips have been sealed together by birch bark tar.
“Who am I, Esi?’’ I clench my teeth.
The awkward quiet goes on for eternity.
“You are an Illimanyang,” he says, his gaze locked onto mine. “Seeing the Miilika for the first time and being so close to divinity has awakened your true nature.”
The words burn my soul. I shake my head frantically and shiver with disgust.
“No, it cannot be! Mama, and Papa, they…’’
“My son was not. But your mother was a carrier, but she never really exuded symptoms.’’ Esi says.
Everything makes sense now. All my life, I have looked and felt different. I have been rightfully outcasted. Monster lives in my blood. Tears begin to stream down my face.
“After your father was gored by a hippo, your mother’s grief plunged her into despair. She lost all sense of purpose.” His words stab at my heart, but I know they’re nothing but lies. I was her purpose—she reminded me of that more than once.
“She found purpose in her quest to seek out the Karkar in Envaitenet.’’
His words fail to make sense. Finding the Karkar is no task for a girl; it is the duty of god Tian’s heir. It is no wonder young boys, including Leojore, Kill a Yee every year and get crowned in the hopes that the all-knowing god Tian will reveal to one of them the hidden location of the Karkar, secreted away by the Illimanyang.
The flood of information sends my world spiralling. I feel numb, adrift in confusion, unsure of what to believe anymore. I weigh on telling him about the vision of the day of initiation, but I bite my tongue.
“And you found it convenient to hide this from me?’’
‘’You were too young?’
A thunderous beat of drums suddenly reverberates outside, a resounding call summoning me forth. My trial has arrived.
‘’There is not much time Sepian. You have to finish what she started. Find the stone, and you will find answers and the freedom you seek.’’ He pauses.
“We will all be free,’’ he adds.
He opens the door to leave. A tiny shadow stands outside, it could be a goat, a biped goat. An anomaly. I stare at Esi, whose back is turned to the shadow and whose eyes are sternly focused on me. With his poor eyesight, he could miss seeing what is beneath his nose. I press my eyes shut. They must be playing a trick on me. When I open them again, the shadow is gone.
“Running away from your problems does not solve them,’’ he says, turning and slamming the door shut behind him.
#
The villagers are huddled in one corner, murmuring. Shivers run down my spine, and I doubt it is the lake’s breeze.
The Darkness has expanded, shrouding most of the sky, yet nobody seems to notice.
I stand before the council of elders, my shoulders hunched and my head bowed. Mzee Lemusuka, the arapile, leader of the council, sits on the three-legged stool at the centre. He appears frail. His dark skin gathers around his forehead in wrinkles. Around him are the aramɛt, his assistants, Mzee Lorishu, Mzee Loisule, and Mzee L’tilah. They look rather serious in their aprons and the gʊfayngatɔ caps.
Leajore stands out from his fellow graduates, taller and more muscular. A kalate, a pendant made from a cow rib and worn by men who have successfully slain a Yee, the heaviest hippo, dangles from his ear. He is the current heir of god Tian, yet I doubt he even knows how to pray, much less how to hear his voice. He flashes a mocking, sinister smile. I clench my teeth and fist simultaneously, with a strong urge to punch something or someone. Mostly someone. I want to scream that he is a non-virgin too, but I maintain my composure. Besides, Ltilah, his father, is a member of the council. He will drive a spear through the heart of anyone who puts his family’s name in jeopardy.
My eyes scan around, catching sight of Lolchuragi. His pint-sized stature and green eyes stand out. He is dressed like all the sixteen-year-old boys, with only a loincloth around his waist. An appendage of a birthmark, darker and redder than his already dark skin, sits loosely on his chest as if trying to detach. He stands with his arms folded. Like many other boys, he was not chosen as an heir because he was unable to kill a Yee. Rumour has it that he froze on the spot, but he insists it was a small challenge for a strong boy like him.
“I am awaiting a worthy challenge,’’ he said, puffing his feeble chest out. He is now a skilled fisherman.
I avoid his eyes. Of course, he knows that I intended to leave him. Apart from Mzee Lemusuka, he considers me family.
Quiet deluges Loiyangalani Bay and its environs as Mzee Lemusuka swings his signature fly whisk to call the meeting to order.
‘’Sepian Akolog. You stand trial for the despicable crime of being an Illimanyang. How do you plead?’’ Mzee Lumusuka reverberates.
My lips are sealed. I went from dreaming of wanting to see my mother again to being an Illimanyang facing trial.
”Speak, young girl; we do not have all day!’’ Mzee Ltilah, Leojore’s father, shouts.
“Not guilty!’’ I blurt out.
Gasps fill the air. Mzee L’tilah jerks up and paces in frustration. The theatrics make for a good show.
“Silence!’’ Mzee Lemusuka roars and whips his fly whisk fervently. “Then the trial is dismissed,’’ He adds, exuding his usual kindness. Even a blind man can see he is trying to save me.
“With all due respect, Arapile, you are putting our people at risk. We cannot have an Illimanyang living in our midst!’’ Mzee L’tilah says.
“What then do you suggest we do?’’
“Kill her!’’ “Drown her!’’ “Feed her to a Yee or Nyaud!’’ The crowd shouts. I hear the familiar voice of Leojore. My eyes meet my grandfather’s for the first time. He sits with his head bowed, shrunken like a bird that has been rained on.
“Send her to where her kind is. Banish her to Envaitenet!’’ Mzee L’tilah shouts.
The other elders sit quietly, dozing off, unperturbed by the happenings.
My stomach sinks, and strength escapes my body. The noisy crowd mutes. Suddenly, death by a Nyaud seems like a better option.
“Mzee L’tilah. You are being unreasonable. Envaitenet is an island of no return.‘’ Mzee Lemusuka says. .
‘’It is called an island of no return for a reason!’’
Dizziness consumes me. My surutei is unable to calm me this time. Envaitenet is the only island we still have access to, but nobody dares to trade the treacherous island. Ever since the Illimanyang invaded Envaitenet, anyone who ventured there has vanished without a trace, including Mama, who died trying to find a cursed stone.
The arapile and his aramɛt crouch together, whispering and arguing. The tension in the crowd can be sliced with a knife.
Mzee Lemusuka clears his throat louder than usual.
“We, the council, have reached a decision,’’ he declares. He looks at me, and I can swear I see his lips murmuring the words. I am sorry.
“Sepian Akolog, you are hereby banished to Envaitenet!’’ he roars.
He nods his head, signalling the warriors to drag me to the raft.
I fall to the ground in protest. “No! Please! Don’t!”
The familiar grip of Leojore yanks me to my feet. Lolchuragi grabs my other arm. He has no business accompanying them; I am his only friend, not them. The villagers shout encouragement to the boys. Betrayal in Loiyangalani Bay.
Myriad fishermen’s boats are aligned on the shore, their weathered hulls baking in the sun. Leojore tosses me into one of the nearest ones. I cringe as the scorching wood sears my skin and my legs get tangled in the colossal fishing net that lays on the boat. I struggle till I break free and toss the net to the stern of the boat, where a huge pile of fishing tools lay. With a powerful shove, Leojore propels the vessel forward, a testament to his unwavering strength. I watch my traitors one last time as I drift away. Lolchuragi is not among them; he has disappeared. I press my palm to my chest, trying to quell the ache that gnaws at my heart. I clench my jaw and swallow hard, battling the tears on the verge of escaping. I refuse to grant them the privilege of seeing my pain anymore. Esi stands beside the lake with the crowd, miming the words ‘Karkar’. My heart pounds heavy, overwhelmed by the impending doom.
The sun illuminates a quarter of the sky while an encroaching darkness looms over the remaining three-quarters.
The lake glistens in the dying sunlight. Its ripples create a spellbinding pattern on the surface, and its vastness injects vertigo into my system. Its currents take over and push the boat further from the shore. I watch as the people shrink to the size of ants, and as soon as they disappear, I bury my head in my hands and wail, letting my tears flow freely. The subtle and natural scent of fresh water offers me comfort. I raise my head, grab the wooden oar and begin to row. The trend is obvious: rejection. By my villagers, my dead mother, the Miilika and even god Tian. I want to escape but have no destination.
A sudden movement in the clump on the stern startles me, and I jerk.
“Show yourself!’’ I order, pointing the oar as though ready for a duel.
“Only if you are human!’’ I add.
Lolchuragi emerges from the cluster with the fishing net still hanging on his head.
“Are you sick in the head, Lolchuragi? What are you doing here?’’
“I came to help.”
“I do not need your help. Besides, how did you get here? You know what, don’t even answer me. Traitor! I could throw you off board right now, little fisherman, and leave you for the hippos and Nyaud!’’ I point the Oar closer to his neck, with an urge to bash his head in.
An awkward silence prevails for a moment. As his eyes dart, I can tell he is calculating his chances of survival if thrown into the waters.
I poke harder, the oar forming a slight indentation on his skin.
“Wait!’’ I heard you and Esi speak about the Karkar…’’
I recall the minuscule figure outside the hut when Esi opened the door. ‘’You are the biped goat?’’
“What?’’ He asks, confused.
“I mean, that was you? You eavesdropped on our private conversation?” I lower the oar.
“No, h… he was talking too loudly; I just happened to be in the neighbourhood.”
“Listen, I could help you find it. We could be the first ones to return from the island of death. Besides, you will need a dashing man beside you to ensure your safety.’’
I roll my eyes.
“Are you even listening to yourself? I am not going to find a stupid Karkar.”
“Your mother is alive!” Lolchuragi blurts out.
I drop the Oar.
“I do not know how, but after you left your vision, I saw her, alive more than ever, on the Island.”
“You were in my vision? How?”
Memories of the day of initiation flood back, and with them, the image of Lolchuragi grabbing my hand. It wasn’t just a vision—it was real! She could still be alive! A spark of hope ignites within my discouraged heart.
“If we find the stone, It might lead you to her. I want to help you find it. This is my worthy challenge.” He smiles, revealing his set of cone-shaped teeth.
His words sink in. If I go to the island, it could lead me to her. I will see her again. A knot tightens in my stomach as the reality of seeing Mama settles in. The joy is fleeting, quickly overshadowed by anxiety. I can’t help but wonder why she left. Perhaps I’ll finally find the answers I need. I press my lips together, fighting back tears that threaten to spill. Lolchuragi fist bumps my shoulder, and I chuckle. I find comfort in knowing Lolchuragi is not a traitor and accepts me for who I am.
We take turns at the oars, rowing the boat, as Lolchuragi fills the air with lively chatter. We dock a few feet away upon reaching the island. He too does not see the darkness in the sky. I begin to question my reality. It is pin-drop silent except for the sound of our feet navigating the shallow waters.
The water suddenly whooshes. We both halt.
I hear a guttural bellow and a threatening hiss. I shiver. I search for Lolchuragi, who stands against the setting sun. The water whooshes again, and the green eyes of a Nyaud, a Nile crocodile, emerge from under the water. Blood rushes through my body as it emanates, revealing its long, powerful tail and scaly hide.
Nile crocodiles are god Tian’s spirit animals. Before the curse, they sailed fishermen around the lake. Now, they hunt and thirst for our blood.
It charges at us with clear murderous intent. I intuitively dive into the water and begin to swim to shore. I know Lolchuragi will survive. He often returned with stories of tackling a Nyaud with his bare hands during solo fishing escapades. As a lakesider, I shouldn’t struggle to swim, yet panic makes it feel nearly impossible.
I’m jolted by a loud splash as if a massive rock has been hurled into the water. I pause and turn to look back. The Nyaud has clamped onto the tail of Lolchuragi’s loincloth with its razor-sharp teeth, pulling him backwards with relentless force. His head is already submerged, and all that is visible are his limbs thrashing wildly, flailing like a trapped fly in water.
I intuitively swim towards him and reach for his leg, pulling him with all my might. It becomes a push-and-shove for a minute. The water sloshes, accompanied by the growls and grunts of the angry crocodile. I am shaking, but I cannot afford to surrender. I reach for his hand and pull with all my might, and I hear the sound of a tear in his loincloth as his head emerges. He takes a big gasp and grabs his chest in pain.
“Stop!” I scream, my voice cracking with desperation.
“Argapa! Argapa!’’ Lolchuragi pleads, his words a frantic chant in El Molo.
“Stop!’’ my voice rises to a fevered pitch. Despite the coolness of the river, my knuckles sweat, and a hot, oppressive dread clings to me.
The crocodile pauses in mid-motion as if in some kind of trance. Its cold, reptilian eyes glint with a strange, unblinking calm. It releases him and peacefully swims away. Breathless and shaken, I watch as the crocodile vanishes. With a final flick of its powerful tail, it glides away. The water settles around us, the tension draining away like a receding storm.
“How did you do that?” He asks in between breaths.
I stare at him. Equally astounded.
#
The grains of sand tickle the soles of my feet as we enter the eerie and ancient Envaitenet. The sun is almost setting, pushed to the edge by the darkness. I presume it is harmless; it is probably a storm that is coming. I hope to find Mama before sunset. We climb a huge crater that rises from the ground like a monolith and reach the top in no time. From above, everything seems minuscule, like scattered pebbles in an expansive, empty basin. The journey down is a bumpy freefall. Up close, what initially appeared as scattered pebbles prove to be doum-shaped abandoned huts adorned and constructed with palm stalks and leaves. Polished brownstones sit inert. We hesitantly set out toward a lush, emerald forest to our left, its dense canopy beckoning us to enter.
We slip quietly into the forest, moving with stealth and purpose. Bright, emerald-shaded vegetation and trees stand side by side; the fresh, crisp smell of tree bark mingles with the woodsy scent of decaying leaves and tickles my nostrils. I long to sit in this tranquillity, to let the stillness envelop me, but the weight of my circumstances keeps me tethered.
Suddenly, the ground begins to shake, and the branches of the trees begin to make way. My eyes must be playing a trick on me, for behind Lolchuragi looms a colossal figure. His feet are the size of an ancient reef. He wears a scanty loincloth made of papyrus reeds. His unruly eyebrows sprawl across his eyes and nose, and a lone tooth protrudes from his chipped lips.
Lolchuragi remains rooted to the ground, his mouth forming a neat O. I, too, am immobile. I do not know which is louder: my racing heartbeat or the heavy thuds of the giant’s footsteps as he approaches. Adrenaline kicks in, and I take a few steps backwards, but a tree barricades my futile attempt. He finally closes the distance between us, casting a shadow before me.
“Jambo!’’ His voice echoes.
“Welcome to Envaitenet,’’ He adds, stretching his huge hand. I stretch my hand, sceptical. He shakes it slowly, but the weight of his hand tosses me to the ground.
“Sorry,’’ he says, jerking away.
Lolchuragi is also flung to the ground as he shakes his hand, but he doesn’t seem to mind. A wide grin spreads across his face as he gazes up at the giant, his eyes sparkling with awe like a child discovering an ancient fossil for the first time.
“Who are you?’’ Lolchuragi asks.
“I am Sepukon. The keeper of history in Envaitenet,’’
“ Yes, sure, erm…Have you seen a woman here who looks like me?” I shout.
Lolchuragi elbows me. “He is a giant Sepian. not deaf.”
“ I am sorry. Do not mind her. I am Lolchuragi. This is Sepian. We came here looking for a stone, the Karkar. If you could direct us to where that is, that would be great!”
“Come!’ the giant beckons.
We follow him to a stack of stones that form a protective wall. He pushes the middle stone, unveiling a concealed entrance to an enigmatic galtʊ cave that sparks a sense of familiarity. It is a sight to behold—a hidden sanctuary where green leaves and purple flowers adorn the walls and the roof. The refreshing fragrance of petrichor. A fountain of water that seamlessly navigates multiple small streams across the cave. At the heart of the cave, a vault—just like the one in my vision.
This means my mother could be here. I have a chance to understand why she left for this wretched island—and, more importantly, why she left me behind.
“In the beginning, when there was nothingness, god Tian left the glory of the skies and descended to create Earth and his beloved humans.” Sepukon begins.
I clear my throat.
“Thank you for the history lesson, Sepukon. However, that is not why we are here. I would really appreciate it if you could show me where my mama is,” I shout.
“To understand the present, one must turn to the past.” He raises his voice to match mine. We cover our ears as the noise pierces through, sharp and jarring.
The energy to argue leaves my bones. I sit down, and that is when I feel the fatigue and pain that I have been carrying. Lolchuragi sits next to me, twiddling his fingers, itching to hear more as if our history is new to him.
“Due to his reverence, God Tian could not mingle with mortals, which is why he resided in Envaitenet, holding the world in the palm of his hands for centuries. He controlled the seasons and upheld the Earth’s balance. All was well until hatred and greed began to fester in the hearts of humanity. They turned against each other, coveting their brothers’ possessions. Despite his power, there was little he could do to stop it, for he is a god of volition, granting his people the gift of free will. Darkness slowly grew from their hearts and onto the world, and it is about to consume us all.”
My antennas arise from their slumber as Sepukon’s words take a turn. The darkness is not only in my head as I had thought. The darkness that only I see in the sky is real.
“He risked becoming tainted by the encroaching darkness, so he ascended to the skies. Unable to cradle the world in his palm any longer, he sought a replacement to restore the delicate balance. That is when he forged the Karkar Stone, imbued with the same immense power to command the world and ensure its continued harmony.”
All my life has been a lie. Lolchuragi paces up and down, rubbing his temple, unable to fathom. This was not the narrative our ancestors had fed us in the Village for centuries.
“Since the stone was created to respond to its wielder’s commands, Tian knew that everyone would covet it, so he split the stone into two to make it difficult to find. Since the darkness in the hearts of mankind caused them to reject anything different, he allowed a Turkana and an El Molo to intermarry, giving birth to your kind, the Illimanyang.” He points at me with a smile, an unexpected sight. It’s unusual for anyone to associate the Illimanyang with joy.
“Humans, like any others, yet also god Tian’s seers, gifted with the power to glimpse the past and the future.” He adds. Who would have thought that the bald and toothless girl from Loiyangalani Bay was god Tian’s seer? A tiny smile forms on the side of my mouth.
“The ostracised Illimanyang found refuge in Envaitenet, where they were given half the stone to safeguard. Many villagers from Loiyangalani tried to steal it, but the seers foresaw their approach and thwarted them. That was until one man, using his charm and cunning, deceived the seers, eliminating them all and claiming half the Karkar for himself. It was then that the darkness began to spread.”
Luckily, some carriers from your lineage escaped to the bay, hid their true Illimanyang nature and blended in with the Villagers. But as planned by god Tian, on the day of your initiation, the darkness would have spread, and the world would be facing the threat of extinction. For the world to survive this, the two halves of the Karkar must be fused to wipe out the darkness. The whereabouts of the stones can only be revealed to the rightful seer. But for that to happen, both stones have to be on this island. We do not have enough time; you must find the stone.
“What has that got to do with us?’’ I ask.
I follow Sepukon’s colossal finger, which points to a woman emerging from behind the vault. Sepukon fades away, merging seamlessly with the wall. He is no longer there.
A ray of light shines from an opening above, illuminating the woman as she emerges. It directly hits her bald head and skin, adding to the glow that is already there. She stands a few feet taller, with intricate shells meticulously woven into an apron that accentuates her curves. Her smile heals my soul.
“Mama?’ My voice cracks.
“Sepian?” she calls, her arms wide open.
I never thought I could hear her say my name again. A memory from my childhood deluges my mind: running around Loiyangalani, playing hide-and-seek as she called my name.
I rush into her arms, tears of joy streaming down my face. At last, I’m in a place where I truly belong—my mother’s embrace. Her skin feels soft against mine, a comforting reminder of home. She cups my face and wipes my tears. Her eyes are a stream. I want this moment to last forever.
‘’Why? I ask in between sobs.
“I had to leave, my Sepy.” Her voice is calm.
Sudden anger churns in my stomach, rising like boiling water, and I take a few steps back. Everyone was right—she wanted to leave. She tries to close the distance between us, but I retreat even further.
“Do you have any idea what I’ve endured? Ridicule. Loneliness. Misery. Should I go on, or do you have to leave again?”
“Sepian, please listen. If I hadn’t left, they would have killed us both. I started having episodes of changing into an Illimanyang. It was too dangerous. You know what they do to our kind.”
“Why didn’t you take me with you?”
“Because of him.” Her eyes dart toward Lolchuragi, who immediately stills, halting his restless movements.
Confusion washes over me.
‘What do you mean?’ Lolchuragi steals the words right out of my mouth.
“Listen to me. We do not have much time,” Mama says, ignoring his question.
“The Karkar was stolen from our ancestors, and everything since has been a desperate attempt to conceal the truth. The circumcision of girls in the village and the sacrifice of non-virgins were all efforts to hide this reality from the people. The Miilika take the non-virgin girls to the feet of God Tian, seeking to save them from the elders’ wickedness. Someone in that village possesses half the Karkar—you must find it and bring it forth so god Tian can reveal the location of the other half before sunset, before the darkness consumes the world. You are the seer we have been waiting for. The Surutei is a gift, allowing us to see beyond the ordinary. Anyone who wears or has worn it can glimpse what others cannot—that’s how I entered your vision.”
“Ensure to find it and fuse it before the man from the bay does because, to the one who yokes, power shall be granted.’’
Myriad questions flood my mind. I’ve just found my mother, and despite my anger, all I want is to keep her close. I still need answers. I still need her with me. That little reunion was not enough.
My thoughts drift to Esi. How did he know about the stone? He must be the charming man from the bay who stole half the Karkar! I have to stop him and reclaim the stone. He took my mother from me once, and I won’t let him take her away again.
“Go!” Mama nudges us.
“I will be back!” I declare as I leave the cave. My heart is heavy with the doubts of seeing her again.
Lolchuragi is quiet, sweat dripping down his face. He clutches the scar on his chest in pain. All this must be overwhelming for him. His walk is sluggish as we step outside the cave. We have more questions than answers, but we choose to focus on the task at hand: taking the Karkar from Esi and bringing it back to the Island.
He wheezes and snorts as I drag him to the shore.
“ Sepian!” A familiar voice calls.
We turn slowly, and there, just before us, Mzee Lemusuka stands with a knife on Mama’s throat.
My heart sinks.
“ Papa?’’Lolchuragi calls. He furrows his brows, confused just as I am.
“ Do not call me that!” Mzee Lemusuka roars. His fly whisk is tightly tucked under his arm. He has a cold stare. The usual kindness has escaped him. I do not know the man that stands before me.
“You two are such foolish children. You think you can save the world?.” He lets out a diabolical laugh—one I never imagined could come from him.
I can feel the strength leaving Lolchuragi’s bones. A tear drops down his left eye. He is dumbfounded. It cannot be. Not Mzee Lemusuka. Lolchuragi suddenly falls to the ground unconscious.
“ Lolchuragi! LOLCHURAGI!” I fervently shake him, but my efforts are futile.
“Leave him be. He will survive!” Mzee Lemusuka says. “As for you, we will do this the easy way or the hard way. Show me where half the Karkar is.”
“ I don’t know where it is,” I say.
“I am not talking to you, stupid girl. I am talking to you!” He shakes Mama like a sack of wood, the knife pressing harder against her skin, a drop of blood trickling down her collarbone. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears. I want to cry, but the energy just isn’t there.
A tiny streak of light peeps from the sky as the sun is almost completely suppressed by the darkness. It is just a matter of minutes before darkness consumes the world, and we disappear into nothingness. I will not have a chance to spend time with Mama again!
“We cannot find it until half of it is in proximity,” Mama says between sobs.
Mzee Lemusuka signals me to move away from Lolchuragi. I remain standing, petrified. Lolchuragi lies vulnerable, exposed, his scar pulsating as if it longs to break free from his chest. I would die if anything happened to him.
“Now!’ He roars.
I struggle and take a few steps away from him. With Mzee Lemusuka’s arms still wrapped around Mama’s shoulders and the knife pressed to her neck, they slowly walk towards Lolchuragi. He quickly releases Mama to me and places the tip of the knife on Lolchuragi’s neck. He hits the fly whisk on the ground, breaking it into two and releasing a glowing stone. Its radiance is akin to that of a star. The sheer beauty of it overwhelms me, and I feel a deep urge to drop to my knees in reverence. It is one half of the Karkar!
I can hardly believe my eyes. I have been so close to the stone all this time. His signature fly whisk has been concealing the Karkar right under our noses.
“Now. Show me where the other half is, or he dies.”
He presses the blade against Lolchuragi’s neck, and blood begins to ooze.
“Please! Why are you doing this?” I plead.
“Power. Don’t you want it? With power, comes respect and control. You know, with your abilities, we could rule the world together.”
“I would rather die.”
“That can be arranged!”
Suddenly, Mama grabs my arm, and the Surutei starts to glow. I watch my skin begin to wrinkle as my pores slowly shut. Unlike the day of the initiation, I am less surprised by the changes. The pain in my mouth as my teeth retracts is still excruciating, and I growl to accommodate it. Surprisingly, I stand in the same place but transported to a different time. A blinding light transcends, burning my eyes. An aura of awe and reverence radiates through my entire being. It is then that I realise that I am in the presence of god Tian. His glory is overwhelming. It is true what they say: He is without form. He can only be felt and not seen.
Suspended in the air are two halves of a glowing stone. I realise immediately that they are the two halves of the Karkar. One half is handed to the Illimanyang couple on my vision on the day of my initiation, and the other half is buried in the ground by the shore of Loiyangalani Bay. I go through a round, spherical wormhole of time and on the same ground where it was buried, the Karkar begins to sprout and form into a baby. The stone meticulously curates its legs, arms, torso and head before it settles into the infant’s chest. Exactly where Lolchuragi’s scar sits. My eyes widen in shock. Lolchuragi is god Tian’s heir! The one the villagers have been searching for all along!
I gasp for air as I snap back to the present. Darkness has fully prevailed, consuming the sun entirely. Mother stands beside me, panting and heaving. Together, we have witnessed this. Lolchuragi lies on the ground, motionless. A blue streak of light shoots from his chest, Our only light source. The Karkar embedded in his scar is now open and accessible.
“Holy Tian!” I exclaim, suddenly remembering seeing Lolchuragi on the day of my initiation. It’s clear now—The Miilika didn’t retreat because of me; it was because of him! That’s why he appeared in my vision—he is a seed of god Tian. Mzee Lemusuka must have known Lolchuragi was the heir, but he couldn’t access half the Karkar because he needed both Mama and me to unlock the Karkar. Divinely embedded in Lolchuragi’s chest.
This is what my mother meant when she said I had to stay back in Loiyangalani. Our destiny was greater than ourselves, and at this moment, I feel like I’ve failed Lolchuragi.
Mzee Lemusuka wastes no time in yanking the Karkar from his chest. Lolchuragi gasps for air, as if taking his last breath. My heart drops to my stomach as I dash to him. Screaming and begging him to wake up. He is dead. Cold. Gone. Blood on his open chest in which the scar once sat. My heart crushes, and I wail, my screams overpowering the howling winds that are ready to consume us all.
The darkness graces the night sky in all its doom. Mzee Lemusuka is about to fuse the Karkar stone, but Mama runs and yanks his hand. One half of the stone slips from his grasp, clattering to the ground, and they are left grappling fiercely for the remaining half. The air crackles with desperation and determination. Mzee Lemusuka, agitated, grabs his knife and raises it aloft, intending to stab my mother with one hand and still gripping the Karkar with the other hand. It is evident that she has the upper hand as she grabs onto the stone with both her hands.
As soon as she has it. I dash and grab Mzee Lemusuka’s arm. I cannot lose her. If we disappear into nothingness, I might as well disappear with her.
Mzee Lemusuka’s unwavering strength is unquestionable. A testament to the power he has gotten from half the pebble over the years, but I fight harder.
“Sepian! Look at me. You have to let go of his arm.”
Mother’s request is absurd. She cannot tell me what to do. I am not letting him stab her. I will not lose her again.
“No!” I protest.
“Sepy, listen to me. You need to help Lolchuragi. Remember. to the one who yokes, power shall be granted.
Her insinuation irks me. I am meant to help Lolchuragi fuse the Karkar. He will save the world and come back to life because power will be granted to him. But that means going back to the same wretched world that I wanted to leave in the first place.
“No,” I fervently shake my head. “I need you!”
“He needs you!”
I turn my gaze to Lolchuragi’s lifeless body. He lays pale and stiff. Was this the worthy challenge he had dreamt of? He had been ridiculed all his life for being a tiny orphan, not knowing the power he carried. He deserves to live in his power and glory. I am confident in a different and better world under his leadership.
“I love you!” Mama screams, her words a balm on all my inner wounds.
“I love you too,” I cry uncontrollably as I let go of Mzee Lemsuka’s arm. With all her might, she yanks the other half of the stone and throws it to me, and I quickly pick the other half from the ground and dash to the lifeless Lolchuragi. I hear the knife go through the heart of Mama as she screams and takes her last breath. I do not look back, but I feel the pain as though I, too, am being stabbed.
I place the stones on both of Lolchuragi’s hands, aiding him in fusing them. The ground shakes, and thunder sounds as the darkness begins to recede. Immediately, the edges of the incision on his chest begin to knit together, weaving a tapestry of recovery that defies the laws of nature. Lolchuragi coughs and gasps for air. He is alive! The darkness dissolves in the sky, and the moon and stars emerge in all their glory.
I hear a loud growl behind me and spin around. Mzee Lemusuka charges at me with a knife, his bloodshot eyes and wrinkled face cold and relentless.
“Nyaud! Attack!’ Lolchuragi’s faint voice commands. Several crocodiles emerge from the water, grab the screaming Lemusuka, and drag him to the waters.
The heir of god Tian has arisen.
Anyango Midamba
Anyango Midamba is a writer from Nairobi, Kenya. She has a certificate of creative writing from Wesleyan University. In 2019, her poem was featured in the Zimbabwean publication of the Best New African Poets anthology. Her other publications have been included on various digital platforms, like the Nipe Story Podcast and Standard Media Report, among others. Some of her achievements include winning the Bloggers Association of Kenya Awards and bagging the Storymoja Africa Writer of the Month in June 2017. Anyango is currently working on her first epic fantasy novel and hopes to fulfill her purpose of telling Kenyan stories.